Everyone successful person has a ritual to set goals. Most people that are unsuccessful lack the discipline to set goals. They have no target that they are moving towards.
If you want an extraordinary 2018, you need to gain massive clarity on what you want. It has to be so compelling that get excited to go after it. It should create a drive for you that will make you wake up early and go to bed late.
When you set goals, you have to have a purpose for what you’re doing. If you want to spring into action, your purpose must fill you up to the point where you want to take action. This will help you have success towards your goals.
When you set goals or have a goal-setting session, you want to make sure that you follow the simple and effective process that was laid out in the video.
Success requires action, and that action must be pointed in the direction that you set your goals. If you want to Master Life By Design, know your target, purpose and have a plan. That’s how you will have great success in 2018.
We give out relationship advice all the time to friends and family. One of the biggest difference in relationships that I have experienced personally and with clients that make them successful is … What POSITION you put your partner in. People have a vertical alignment that they are governed by whether that is consciously or unconsciously. Not sure what a Vertical Alignment is? Simply put, it’s the importance of a specific value chain in your life from top to bottom. For example, some people have the vertical alignment of God, Family, Business.
For each person, they have a different vertical alignment based on what phase of life they are in, how strong their values are and how disciplined they are with them. My relationship advice is to take a moment to inter-reflect and write down what you believe your vertical alignment is for you. After you have done this, take a look at your relationship, is it where you want it to be? If not, look and identify where your partner is in the equation.
Sometimes we don’t have our partner in a position within their vertical alignment that allows them to have a loving, passionate fulfilling relationship. For example, married couples that put their spouse number 1 over the kids have a far more successful relationship. Not saying the kids aren’t important because they definitely are, they need to see an example of love within a relationship (I could go on more into the psychology of it all but will leave that for a future video blog).
Another way of stating this is to what priority are you putting first in your life. I believe when you strip back the layers of life, at the core of what life is, is LOVE! What is more important than your relationship with yourself and than your partner. Are you putting your partner first in your life (outside of yourself) or is it work? Facebook? Sports? Etc….if you wonder why you’re in and out of relationships, it’s because of positioning.
To have a healthy relationship, positioning your relationship and partner at the top of your vertical alignment can have a MASSIVE shift in your life. Now I get people put a position with God, Universe, Higher Power, Creator first (I have God at the top of mine). However, what comes after that pinnacle of your vertical alignment? If you do not position your partner at the top, this can not just affect your relationship. It could also it could affect your business, career, emotional state/home and so much more.
I promise you, you have your partner in the wrong position of your relationship- it’s failing. Here’s a principle that you can carry with you in your tool belt: put your partner and their needs first and watch how much more you’re fulfilled. Your relationship will flourish. With that said….you must now be CONSISTENT!
The best relationship advice you can take is you must first make a decision that your partner’s position is number one! After you made that commitment to yourself, you have to be consistent. Here are a few tools I use to remind myself to put my partner and needs first:
1. Each Morning My Alarm Goes Off: I have an alarm that goes off at 7:15am each morning and I title it “ Remember All The Reasons You Love Christina! <3”
2. Check My Vision Board: I look at my vision board and I have a picture of my wife on there right in the center of it. She’s in the middle to remind me that she’s ALWAYS my bullseye/target to win each day.
3. Pray For Your Partner: Each morning I start my day off with Prayer and I always include my wife into my prayers.
There are infinite numbers of ways to remind yourself to position your partner first. The challenge with this is that most people never set up or create these powerful reminders. They are the catalyst for helping you keep your vertical alignment in check.
Just like anything in life, you can do what you want but as a friend, I wanted to share what makes my wife and my relationship flourish with electrifying love. Most people believe that the relationship will just work themselves out. After thousands of coaching sessions on this topic and from personal experience – I can tell you that nothing works itself out unless you do the work. We take relationship advice from everyone but believe no one. What does that mean? We take that relationship advice and see if it fits for us. If it works, we keep it. If not, we release it, that simple.
Most people do not understand what we mean by work when it comes to positioning your partner first. Some of the “work” that we are talking about is not just the physical action that you take. It is also the internal work (conversations, stories, imagery, etc) that you will take on to make both of your cups overflow.
This can help even those that are going to marriage counseling. I am a huge fan of marriage counseling or marriage coaching also. It’s a place that couples can come to ask relationship questions to receive answers that are outside their scope of knowledge.
The biggest mistake I see are that couples reject going to marriage counseling or coaching. This is because they are afraid others will see them and judge them. A great alternative is online relationship counseling or coaching. Christina and I are here for private relationship coaching if you desire. You can join our group coaching program to have the community to help support you in your transformation. What you do NOT want to do is jump on dating sites while you are in a relationship. That is a big No-no” and shows your lack of commitment to making it work between you and your partner.
With everything I given you today, you are the only one that can make the decision to implement this all. Without action, you get no traction. This is my input and hope you take it and realign with your partner so that you can bathe each other in your love. You get one shot at life and you deserve to have a beautiful loving relationship. So….realign that vertical alignment, take these tools and most of all, have fun. Here’s to a lifetime of happiness, love, and passion to all you love birds <3
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The Power Of Vision (In Love)…
Over the last few decades I have encountered many relationships and witnessed the brutality and the passion a relationship can have. After years of being in relationships that did not succeed as I hoped, frustrating break ups and even being cheated on, it sent me into an obsessive state to study relationships. As a result, I studied what caused a couple that were in there 60’s or 70’s to act like two teenagers that couldn’t get enough of each other and others that were together for a few months or years, at each others necks!
In my studying I found that according to the American Psychological Association (APA), about 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in a divorce in the United States. This was mind blowing! How does this happen? As I started to dig, I found the one of the core components that most couples rarely talk about or even develop to help them have a successful, passionate relationship. The secret that most couples do not have established is….
A VISION FOR THEIR RELATIONSHIP….
Most people miss this. They have visions for their finances, their careers and their retirement but they miss the one thing that will truly make them RICH. Out of all the relationships that I coach from clients to friends, 99% of them lack a vision for their relationship. Whether your religious or not, the bible states in Proverbs 29:18 that “Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he (KJV).” This piece of literature from thousands of years ago even understood this principle. I believe it applies to love too.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi
So Joe…..how do I create my vision for my relationship? Thats a great question…let me give you 3 simple steps to create your vision for your current or future relationship:
Step 1: Get clear what you truly desire in your ideal relationship. Don’t hold back on anything you desire. It does not have to be perfect the first time. Just get something out to get the ball rolling.
Step 2: Cross out anything that does not move and inspire you. If you’re not inspired by this vision then you may want to check what you wrote. Grab what really calls to your spirit at your core. What feels right about it?
Step 3: View it, Speak it, Do it. Review your vision everyday, speak it out loud over and over- review it and be a conscious creator of this vision.
Still having trouble? Let me show you my PERSONAL relationship vision to help you out. The picture below is what hangs on my wall that I review along with other components but I wanted to show you mine to help give you and idea of what yours could look like. Borrow, steal, or model mine but I would encourage you to have one that supports you.
One of the best places to explore this is at Tony Robbins “Date With Destiny” event that he holds once a year in the U.S.A. His event is power packed and creating a vision for your relationship is one area that you get clarity on (If you ever would like to attend, message me and I will make sure you are taken care of). I highly recommend this event for anyone that is in the personal growth world and looking to grow.
This is the cornerstone of any relationship and it would shock you how many people do not have one. Go ahead and ask your friends, parents, grandparents if they have one. Time does not substitute for a lack of one. You will find this to be true and I do not want you to fall victim to societies habits. Join the ranks of the 1%. When I do relationship coaching we look at this as a starting ground for the success of the relationship. Remember, the relationship needs to be feed and nourished also.
I am going to give you some bonus material because I have a passion for helping people in this area of love. I believe that if you’re fulfilled in your relationship then you “Won The Game Of Life.” Everything else is a bonus. Here is a post my Queen and I created a few weeks ago that I believe you will gain some insight or value from.
To Watch The Bonus Video- Click Here!
I hope this serves you and you are able to take those 3 simple steps and apply them. My action step is for you to create your vision for your relationship and share it below in the comments. If you found this to be helpful please share it, give it a 5 Star rating at the top and go out there and love like you never loved before. If you know that this area of your life could use some expert input and coaching, reach out under the Services tab, under coaching, and I will be in contact with you to help support you in anyway I can because you deserve love and Im in your corner! P.s….I expect to be at your wedding haha
Have a beautiful day and love you!
Make today count,
Peak Performance Coach
“Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible-it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment and offer you more joy than any material possession could.” ~ Barbara D’Angelis
The Hustle Has No Weekends Off!
Ever wonder why some people get ahead in life and others struggle paycheck to paycheck?
Most people who come to me for coaching are always looking for the newest and latest strategy. As Tony Robbins book “Money: Mastering The Game” says, life is 80% Psychology and 20% strategy. After working with tens of thousands of people and coaching people all around the world….the number one difference between those that succeed and those that fail is their psychology!
Let me give you an example….
I woke up at 630am this morning and went right to working on my business and myself. I have a belief that I need to make the most with my time and sitting around laying in bed will not help me create the income or lifestyle I desire.
After studying the most successful people I found that they all have things in common. Here are 3 common things that the successful do:
1.) They are early risers – They wake up early and get to work. They don’t lay in bed all day. They know time is money so they refuse to let the bed cuddle them up- they get up!
2.) They feed their mind – They are always looking for new ways to grow and to better themselves and separate themselves from their competition.
3.) They give back – They fill themselves by helping others. This comes in many forms. If you climb to the top you better through the rope back down because real success is based on how many WILLING people you can bring with you.
If you truly desire to Master Life By Design – you have to learn to hustle. You have to learn to burn the candle at both ends of the stick, especially if you are working a full time job supporting your family with a dream to do more or create more.
If you need someone to guide you through the process go ahead and go to my Services page and fill out your information and I will get back to you. So whats holding you back? Lets go!
Make today count!
Peak Performance Coach
All women want to feel understood and heard. They also require a man’s presence in their life. Many men forget this or do not even know this about a woman. Men are wired naturally to FIX things and we have a desire to come up with a solution when a woman express a problem or how they feel. Women do not always want things fixed. Sure they want the toilet fixed or the dryer working again but when it comes to them expressing, that’s another set of rules for the game.
I have to often catch myself from following my desire to fix my Queens problem to just listening and being present. Here’re 3 simple steps that I take to help be present with my Queen:
1. I stop everything I am doing and focus on her.
2. I listen and understand where she is coming from as if I was the one in that situation.
3. Lastly, I wait till she’s done and I ask her if she would like any solution or just wanted me to listen.
Often, I have to repeat in my head: “Just listen to her and don’t say anything.” This really helps me from trying to dive in and solve her problem when she really just wants to express herself. It’s like a guy saying he would like to make more money and everyone comes up to him giving him a million opportunities. He may have been stating he wanted more money but not necessarily asking for opportunities.
Check out the video above and share it if you believe it would benefit you. Beware- this is a raw video we made to help in the moment….tears of joy were present initially. Enjoy and make today count!
As Tony Robbins says: “Its our decisions, not our conditions that ultimately shape the quality of our lives.” The biggest distinction that I had to learn was that our decisions shape our destiny! It could come from the decision to ry a drug for the first time that could send us down the path of a horrible addiction or the decision to invest in a particular strategy or stock that could alter your financial destiny forever. Most people believe that making a decision takes time but really its just you preparing to the point of making that decision. A decision is that moment that you draw the line in the sand and take immediate action. What decision have you been desiring to make but just been preparing? Write that down. Now, are you ready to make a real decision? Not a one out of hype but out of pure threshold that you will no longer settle for the comfort of this space. If you said yes, what Id like you to do now is write down 3 things that you can do to take action? Now set them in priority. Star the one you must do first. Now that you did that the last thing I want you to do is write down WHY this is important for you to take action on your new empowering decision. Make it juice, compelling…so that when times are challenging you have something to pull you through. I look forward to hearing about your success. Please comment below what your decision was and the action you took. Make today count!
Who are you? When I ask this question to many people they usually tell me things like their name, what they do for a living, or their position. That is a very superficial answer with no real depth into who they truly are. Most people don’t know who they really are. Don’t worry, I responded the same way over the years so I am in the same boat. What I didn’t know was that I was much more then those things. I started to get around mentors/coaches, went to seminars and ingest personal development content and thats where I started to discover who I was. I found out that I was love, I cared for people, had a drive to transform peoples lives, I was ambitious, motivated, determined, driven, passionate, playful, fun, full of energy, respectful and so much more. I never really looked at myself through those lenses. As soon as I started to see myself differently (a shift in Identity), thats when my world started to transform. When I work with clients, we discover who they are and then who they really are. Thats where the transformation process begins. So, are you ready to transform? This coaching moment here can be a game changer for you. I would like you to make a list of 10 qualities about yourself and none of them can be achievements in your life. Have fun with this. Go out and really discover who you truly are. When you completed this, I would love to hear who you truly are. Comment below with your distinctions. Make today count!